ladyandthetrance:

My Mother: What was in that last box you got in the mail from China? :O

Me, Internally Screaming because that box was full of Vibrators: …..A T-Shirt!

My Mother: Ohhh! What was rattling in there? It almost looked like a shoe box, I thought maybe it was another toy for the cat!

Me, dYING ON THE INSIDE: Rattle? I mean they used protective stuff in there, but nothing rattled! Ahaha– *qUICKLY AND SMOOTHLY CHANGES SUBJECT TIME TO TALK ABOUT CAT TOYS AND HOW CUTE MY CAT IS*

Honestly I’m just facepalming because at one point I had been prepared for this conversation, and I had actually even thought about saying it was another toy for Mouschi since one of the toys I got him for Christmas also came from China but she whipped out that question right oUT OF THE BLUE I WAS NOT PREPARED

I MEAN SOMEHOW MY QUESTIONABLE MANEUVER WORKED ‘CAUSE I TRANSITIONED SMOOTHLY INTO TALKING ABOUT MY CAT BUT STILL

I HAD BEEN SO RELIEVED WHEN THEY DIDN’T SAY ANYTHING ABOUT THE BOX WHEN IT CAME, DIDN’T ASK ANY QUESTIONS ABOUT IT

AND IT’S BEEN A LITTLE WHILE SINCE IT GOT HERE SO I THOUGHT I WAS OFF THE HOOK

BUT NOOOOOO

…And tbh the “discreet packaging” was so discreet it stuck out like a sore thumb and I almost suspected that they knew and were purposely not saying anything about it, buuuuut nope! Apparently it was discreet enough! XD;;;;

Hoooo boy!

AND THAT’S THE STORY OF HOW I VERY NARROWLY DODGED A PROVERBIAL BULLET TODAY