Category: Uncategorized

Close Attention

arihi:

The first thing Ami realized was that she was thirsty.

The second was that she was trapped, held and bound to a large wooden chair, that creaked every time she leaned to one side, every time she tried to shake herself out of her bindings. Her arms and wrists were bound to the armrests, pulled apart, her legs and ankles tied to the bottom and spread far enough apart to be uncomfortable. It was even difficult to breathe – a rope tied a bit too tightly around her chest and torso to the back of the chair ensured that every breath was a reminder of how trapped she was.

And she couldn’t even remember why.

“That’s what I told you, remember? Oh wait– you probably don’t,” a voice snickered behind her.

Tugging at her restraints, Ami stretched her neck as far as she could to get a glimpse of whoever was speaking to no avail. Panting with effort, and feeling increasingly panicked, she couldn’t help but feel paralyzed with indecision and fear.

“Wh-what’s going–” Her words trailed off into coughs and sputters. She was so thirsty. So thirsty. Her mouth felt dry and numb, her throat as if she hadn’t had water for a week. The sound of droplets on the floor and liquid swishing from behind her immediately disrupted her thoughts and caught her attention.

“Awww, poor baby…you want some water?”

Ami bit her dry and cracked lips. She didn’t want to fall for something just radiating with fake sympathy. But– she cursed inwardly. There was no mistake that she needed it. She wouldn’t be able to go on much longer without it. If she did…if she did, she might not have the same level-headed thinking she did now. She’d do anything for it.

It was worth complying early on, she reasoned with herself, while she was still…herself. Still unsure of where she was or what was happening to her, all she knew was that she had to be cautious – and pay close attention.

“I’m waiting…”

Suddenly, the sound of liquid trickling onto the floor began to echo. She panicked.

“Wait!” Ami blurted out.

The sound stopped.

“Wait, I…yes.” Her face burned with her admission. “I need water.”

Her face only tingled with more shame and embarrassment as the voice behind her laughed derisively. This was nothing to be ashamed of. Water was an essential. It wasn’t her fault, she tried desperately to convince herself.

She was trying to survive.

“Here.” A water bottle thrust in front of her face broke her train of thought. “Get ready.”

The open water bottle began to tilt into her mouth. Ami had clung to the naive idea that perhaps she’d be handed a water bottle, her hands freed, but…it only made sense that they wouldn’t be. The fact that she was being nurse fed water, relying utterly on whoever her captor was, only brought tears of shame to her eyes as she coughed and choked on the water that was being poured in far too fast.

“Woops,” the voice snickered, “my hand slipped.”

Ami collected herself and cleared her throat. “Who are you?”

Silence.

“Why am I here?”

Silence.

“What do you want with me!?”

She sighed in frustration as the voice that had been so quick to taunt her earlier seemed all but missing whenever she had questions for it.

“More water?” She asked meekly. It hadn’t tasted like anything but water. Maybe this was a hostage situation, and she needed to be kept alive. It was the only thing she could think of that’d elicit a response, at least.

“Aww, was that not enough?” The voice returned, amused. “I must admit, I didn’t think you’d be asking for more so soon.”

“You poured it too fast earlier,” Ami grumbled.

“Sorry. I’ll do better this time.” The voice sighed, dramatically. A water bottle was held in front of Ami once more, and she opened her mouth obediently.

Surprisingly, it was gentle this time. The bottle held at a slight angle, Ami drank more and more until the bottle was gone.

She tried asking more questions, but the voice refused to answer – until she asked for more water, again, and was fed water, again. And again. And again.

Hours had passed and only asking for water worked. Why wouldn’t anything else? Ami’s brow furrowed as she concentrated and racked her brains for any ideas. Any memories, even. Wait – memories. Something the voice had talked about earlier.

“Can you…tell me what happened?”

Silence.

“I…” Ami bit back her pride. “I can’t remember.”

“Can’t remember, you say?” Ami winced as a shrieking laugh echoed throughout the room. “I’ll bet! I told you, didn’t I?”

“I wouldn’t know, you know, I can’t…” Ami’s voice trailed off.

“Memories are almost always next to go, I said. You didn’t believe me, you said! How dare I do this to you, you said!” The voice got higher and higher and only barely fought back laughter.

This was worse. There were no answers to be found from this…asshole, Ami growled in frustration. She just wanted them to shut up.

“Ugh, whatever just…more water, damn it!” Ami yelled, the tears welling up in her eyes threatening to spill.

A water bottle appeared in front of her, and was then promptly taken away, replaced with a cloth.

“Wait, wha– mfff!” A firm hand held the cloth up against Ami’s nose and mouth, another hand behind her head and pushing her against it. She thrashed, twisted her body, did her best to escape, until her futile attempts grew weaker, and weaker, and it suddenly became so hard to even lift her head, her captor holding it up for her.

Ami’s vision swam, her thoughts starting to blur together and bleed into one another, her head feeling heavy, and thick, and foggy, and sluggish… She coughed halfheartedly, only to have the cloth pressed against her harder. Her eyes began to flutter. The world grew dim, fuzzy. Almost like an out of focus camera, she thought to herself, only barely being able to hold onto the thought.

“See, and now…well, now who knows? Well, me, I do, of course. But you? You know nothing. Don’t you?”

Ami’s head drooped.

“Now now, answer me. You don’t know anything, do you? I’ll take this away.”

They took the cloth away. They took the cloth away, and now…now she could…she could do something. Something? Ami looked straight ahead, her eyes dazed, her mouth slightly open and her expression sleepy.

“Oh dear, oh dear oh dear.” The voice giggled. “Say, ‘I don’t know anything’, dear.”

“I…I dunno ‘ny…thin’…” Ami’s voice slurred. Her head was so dizzy. Her thoughts were rapidly fading. She couldn’t hold onto anything, and as her head fell back against the chair, she found herself almost glad she was safe and tied up. Something about the thought felt wrong, but she couldn’t place why. She was too tired to think.

“And it must be sooooo hard to think, isn’t it?” As her eyes crossed and her vision blurred, Ami barely registered someone stepping out in front of her, looking down at her, but couldn’t seem to realize why that mattered.

“Say ‘yes’ for me dear.”

“…Yy…yeees…” It took Ami almost all of her effort to say it, but she did. She did! She was able to say it. A small grin spread across her lips, of pride.

“Awww, you did so well,” the voice cooed. Ami’s smile widened. “You’re so good at listening to what I say when you’re like this, aren’t you?”

Silence.

“Dear, what do you say?”

Silence.

“What do you think– no wait, you’re not doing any of that…” the voice chuckled to itself. “What did you say the last time, and what’s the right answer?”

A brief glimmer of thought stirred behind Ami’s lifeless eyes. Her lips parted.

“Yes…?” she whispered.

“GOOD girl! That’s right!  You’re so good at being right!” Ami barely registered a hand petting her hair, fingers lightly scratching down her scalp, brushing her cheeks. “And when I say something, you say…”

“…Nny…yyee…” Her voice grew softer and softer, slurred.

“And maybe it’s hard to talk right now, I imagine it is, but you know…you’re not stupid. It’s hard to talk, but you can still understand me, right? Yes, that’s good,” the voice went on without missing a beat. “And when you take one thing away, it becomes sooo much easier to do another thing, like when you take away sight and suddenly you rely on your other senses and can smell better?”

“…Hhh…” Ami sighed, the most noise she could bring herself to make.

“Well, when we take away your words, when we take away your voice…it becomes much easier to listen, to pay close attention and to hear my voice…Because without your voice, you’ll come to rely on mine, isn’t that right?”

Ami moaned, softly.

“And you do so love listening to my voice. You love it when I think for you – it’s so hard to think for yourself, that you’ve come to rely on me! And that’s natural, isn’t it? Like when I told you you’d begin to forget things, and you forgot them? And like now, when you realize how much you really need, really crave having to surrender to me for everything? You do realize that, don’t you?”

Silence.

“Good. Then we’ll spend some quality, quality time together, and wake you up again, and we’ll get to do it all…over…again.” A kiss on Ami’s forehead. “I don’t need you awake for this part. You can disappear now,” the voice remarked flippantly.

Ami’s eyes fluttered, then closed, as her mind began to slow to a stop.

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